I WILL WRITE ABOUT FOTE FAÎ LATER

I am not a good writer and I am not going to pretend I am. Even my English is bad …ama si spell check singeadika kitu muzuri kwa hifo forgive me for my shortcomings and if you are still against my grammar, feel free to give head to a knife.

First I want Kimani to know that my neck is still intact, that is if he has saved enough to get to a cyber and read this. Or if his neighbour amerokota baba bao, baba achara ama baba fije akanununua bados za safaricom…simu yake iko na internet???? Aaaih! Nashuku!! Anyway, man Kimani (ama Man KiMan ukipeda), I’m good, great Infact, just had a plate of ugari, managu and terere…good but I must admit it would have been better if huyo aripika ageocha mara ya piri kutoa magunyo na mûthanga … * rubs kaluma on teeth *…the moon outside is peeping through the clouds, I don’t know if it is the same wherever are in the diaspora. … maybe I should tell you more about this country you love now that you are out there. Nothing much has changed,rakini madagitare wamegoma warijaa kwa jia na fishoshoro wakiiba ati wamesoma na wamesota!!!! Mwathani!! Na wako na kamshahara! Na sisi hatujaadikwo tutaibia nani?? Eh? Tutagomea nani? …maicha ni baya saidi kwansa!!! Hii ni ile wakati wanasemanga “muturîre ûrenda mûndu mûciarîrîre “…in short, kimeumana!!!! Na meno yote, incisors, canines na makaburu!!!!  Ta imagini mûteni kwa Githiji wa mîtura imepada bei!! Sikuizi anapima na kare kakisu kakode, ati anasungusha mara biri anasema bao!!! Io ni nini sasa? Eh?

Now I understand what you always mean by saying that mifuko zako zingekuwa the best at breakdancing ju. Zo huishi broke …mani hata supu kwa Gîthiji wa vishwa na supu niliashana nayo …ati kikobe moja 15, !!!! Aih! Kwani io supu ni ya gorofa??? Ama io ng’obe irikua muidi??  Heeee!! Maisha ikuwe sirias! So how’s the diaspora?? I hope bado mnasukuma huko …kiepidemic kikitokea hifi …kibiria huku …ooooh I wasn’t supposed to be talking about that so salimiana huko Rongai.

Second, I know you are reading this Raira* (not her real name [real name withheld incase some thug from, rifarodi …kibera …mathare …or kawangware is reading this …eg, Githuku – wherever you ara tunajua wewe sasa! Shuunga! You know, githuku is the type of Guy who robs you in broad daylight na ukireta kumenya …I know a guy I nation media who can book your obituary space…I hear Yung_nnoiz is now saved …well, THANKS GOD 😀 ]yeah)… so Raira, did you get home safe after Wamathai Dec?!

I hope so, you know, you are the only person, NAIROBI MZIMA NA MAENEO YANAYO ZINGIRA, who can’t find their way to Kencom after dark! Seriously? How now? Io condition inaitwa aje?? Selective post-sunset amnesia?? Haha or is it Kencom phobia? Sijui hata …anyway I left you in the very trust worthy hands of Kimani, the poet from abroad. Friendly warning : people pass through this dark, omnious ,creepy, scary, freaky screamy forest on their way from Rongai. It is filled with these ferocious rabid animals …and you can never be sure what people drag from them… was that supposed to be supposed to be advice? Okay here it is: next time you meet man Kimani KiMan, ubebe ire gas mask kubwa kabisa !!! Kubwa hifi *shows size with arms stretched* and some wild collection of vaccine shots. Na tafatharî ama unaadika msamiati ya githwairi mahari…ederea tu …rakini pore in adfans.io unaesa pekee iongea Murang’a, kîa Maiko, Mûkûrû…Banana, Kiambu ama Githurai gîa fote faî …period!! Which reminds me. ..

Third : I was supposed to  be writing about fote Faî but since I’ve come This far, I will write about Githurai later …let me sleep na priiiiiiis!!! Somebody tell my kaba neiba it is not cool to pray kenni wa Maria at this hour.

source: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaJ-XZLCMAALEGu.jpg