She was worried. She was always worried about her headscarf. You see it was a special one She would touch her head just to see if it was still there.She was always afraid that the wind would come and snatch her beautiful headpiece from her.
Once a bus door tried to grab it; the passengers never forgot her passionate appeals to release it . This was her explanation for her fear of public transport . She would adjust it, make it tighter, make it just a tad loose; She would try to make it fit her now hairless skull just so, she would fiddle around until her headscarf fit just right.
She would wear a brighter one each day. As it each were in the competition to make her daughter smile. These pieces of colorful head covering were all she had to bring joy to her loved ones. Every single day she would beam and say ,“Mama you look beautiful, choose a brighter one”. And she would have to choose another headscarf less stained with tears.
These pieces of brightness, she told her worn out reflection meant there was still life to be lived. She was worried. She was always worried about her brassiere. You see it was a special one One that fit right, one made JUST FOR HER. Ha! Because she was special like that…*finger snap* She carried it everywhere with her, she dreaded being without it so much she had a spare made. She carried it in her “nabeba kila kitu” handbag, next to her master card and her health insurance packet. She would put on clean white underwear each morning, just like her mother taught her and attach her medical bracelet just in case she didn’t make it back home that day.
She never forgot to put on her special bra though. It made her feel more of a woman than she ever was. She was worried though. She was always worried on Thursday. It was chemo day.
Still looking at her tired face in the reflection of the tired green tile in the hospice she thought : “I look fabulous!” Even with one breast, no hair, no weight, no conviction She loved how her headscarf made her feel invincible, like she had the power to be normal Like daughters and headscarves made her superhuman. No cancer could beat that!
© Amina Jasho From wamathai
