Shit! – I think I’m in love, SHIT!
Usually my heart, my heart has its unique brand of recce surrounding it,
Usually my mind works it out, Actually, I mean twerks it out,
My mind flirts and teases its way out of affection and love and all that messy mush,
Ha! Not this time.
This time I want to rip open my belly,
Want to expose my innards,
Fucking spill my guts,
God! I want him to lay his soul where my gut used to be,
So when I lay my palm on my womb and say I feel it in my gut,
It’s his heart my fingers caress.
I want to lay open my chest,
So when he looks at my breasts he sees the portal that’ll guide him home.
Listen to me!
Listen to me wanting, gushing!
Shit! I really think I’m in love!
I want to taste his lips and slip my essence into his body,
To wrap my arms around him and in that moment be the beginning to his end,
Hell, I want to let go and fall into his eyes,
To lose myself in them,
Find myself in them….
Lose myself again.
I don’t even want to make him jealous,
I want to protect him so he always feels he is the man I know he is,
Ai! No!
I can’t be in love.
But all the signs are there;
Sleep deprivation,
Appetite loss,
Stupid glowing grin on my face,
Missing him and not realizing it,
Till I see him and want to sit so close to him we could be conjoined,
Till he slides away and his warmth and scent remain
Till he wraps his arms around me so tight,
Doesn’t he realize I could never leave?
Right there with him, in him, that’s where I want to be….forever.
Fuckshit! I am in love.
And I want to love deeper and wider,
Till there’s no more deep and wide to love,
Till he his finger traces the outline of my lips and every breath that escapes carries the song that is his name,
I want him,
Want him wanting me,
Want us wanting us,
Till we grow satiate and then unlearn all of it and fall in love all over again.
Well, I used to be coherent.
Welcome to the mess that you’ve made me.
And aren’t I a fucking raging beauty!!
By Kainyu Njeri
