“Broke guys shouldn’t be given the Privilege of having Sex. What on earth are they even celebrating? They should be out there looking for money and hustling hard. Women should stop pampering broke guys.Is it even normal to have an erection or even feelings when you are broke? How on earth do you even sustain an erection on an empty wallet???

Bills are on your neck, debts are chocking you, your shoes are worn out and the landlord is stressing you. Sex should be enjoyed by the rich and successful men only.

So then broke guys can know that nothing comes cheap in life. Ladies stop allowing these broke guys to sweat on top of you, when they can’t sweat at work for you. So ladies think you now know what to do.

If he’s broke, send him on a sex fast until he learns to make some money. The time for jokes is over. And broke guys who are about to comment? Do you think when you make her pregnant, brokenness will buy the baby’s diapers? Do you think brokenness will buy her chicken at KFC when she needs it?

Sex should be a privilege for the rich and successful men only. Most of you are saying it’s about love. Who tells you that love pays bills? Who tells you that love tells the Landlady to keep quiet at the end of the day? From now on, only men with Money should have sex, in this way, broke men will stop being lazy and go make money, but if they continue getting the sex for free, they get more spoilt and won’t bother to look for a job and start a business.”


The above is an excerpt from an FB link. Go on. Read that again. Let it sink in.

I know right?!

Now, I want to know if this author has ever had an earth shattering orgasm. She would know for sure that the guy’s wallet IS NOT what you think about at that point. Also, missionary is not the only position. I am almost sure there is no word like “brokenness” but I could be wrong. There is also a new product in the market. It’s called a condom. Magnificent thing it is. Prevents pregnancy and as a result,  a KFC craving. Granted they are not fool proof but you get the gist of it.

Sure, love cannot pay bills and neither can it shut your landlady up ; your mouth can. However, it could land you in a fight with her and as a direct result jail. Oh yeah, men rise to the occasion even in their sleep. So what, pray tell, would make you assume that an empty wallet will kill that vibe?

This piece would have turned out different if the girls responding to it had shut her down. I weep for the puns unused and the humour lost. I refuse to delete the paragraph above though; those, among others, were my first thoughts. The update pissed me off because it reeked of the victim mentality. There has to be a back story to this right?

First if you are broke, you have no business complaining about a man being broke (equality and girls running the world and whatnot). If he was broke when you met him, showed no ambition to better himself and you stuck around, take a seat and shut up. If KFC is your bar for manhood, you are one of the reasons why aliens will not visit. If you have sex for someone else’s benefit, celibacy should be your drug of choice.

A man IS NOT obligated to take care of your bills unless he is your father, husband or pimp.

That you have sex with him is not a valid argument. If you get pregnant, he DOES NOT owe you anything. He owes his offspring.  All actions have consequences. If you are not ready for the consequences, do not act. You do not get to sing about girls running the world yet you rely on some random man to run your life. There is a word for women and men who have sex for money. Do not be that person. Sex does come cheap to them (oh the puns! *weeps*) depending on which street you find them.

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have the obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contributions in life unless you do that.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone has to bring something to the table. Your body can only get you so far. How many husbands actually leave their wives and families for their mistresses? See? It’s about time women quit playing victims. Take your hand off his wallet and go make your own money.

That’s what men have over you.
And once they don’t, they ain’t got no sway.
And you get to keep your integrity.
And that is worth a whole lot more than all the gold in this goddamn frozen shit box.” Klondike.

 By Shiko Ngure

10 Responses

  1. topazo says:

    this is really good…I thoroughly enjoyed it

    1. storyzetu says:

      Glad you did ! Thanks for commenting 🙂

  2. alice says:

    If yesterdays thunder didnt strike u down,, ur meant to write some more…feel free to throw in the word PREMARITAL anywea u like gosh! Still smarting from it all 🙂

    1. storyzetu says:

      Hahahahahahaha Alice! Isn’t it always a pleasure to have you around!

  3. rerimoi says:

    Lol. Now am reading it loud in the office, everyone thinks am possessed.

    1. storyzetu says:

      We can suggest a good exorcist 😀

      Be generous and share to the workmates.

  4. rerimoi says:

    Lol. Now am reading it loud in the office, everyone thinks am possessed

    1. storyzetu says:

      Hahahaaaaaaaaa! Read on! Read on! 😀

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